


Don't Die

by Bandshe



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 11:51:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3380480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bandshe/pseuds/Bandshe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders and Hawke discuss Hawke helping out the Inquisition</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Die

Hawke observes quietly as Anders reads over the letter she had received from their dwarven friend. She could see his lips tremble as he read it. Then she saw him clench his fists around the paper. She felt her chest tighten, she knew what was to follow.

“No. Absolutely not, Hawke.” Anders forbade her.

“Anders, I have to go. I need to help Varric…the Inquisition," She amended. "with Corypheus. I must fix this; it’s what I do. It’s what we do.”

“No, my love, I break things, you fix them.” Anders muttered as he lowered his head, glancing at the letter once more.

Anders still has nightmares about that night at Kirkwall. He’d wake up in the middle of a deep sleep crying out for those that died in the explosion and chaos. He deserved those nightmares, all those people lived that nightmare, he ran away and they suffered the consequences. Every time he'd wake up screaming Hawke was there to comfort him. He understood how selfish he was being by keeping her from going to help the Inquisition, but ultimately, love is selfish.

“I won’t let them take you.” She’d always tell him. "I made my choice when I ran away with you."

But now, it was Anders giving her the same speech. She shortened the distance between them and raised her hand to caress his face.

“I’ll come back my love. I always come back. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” She gave him her cocky smirk that she always used when she knew she was right.

Anders places his hand over hers and pulls it away from his face. He backs away from her.

“Hawke, it’s not like you’re going to the market!”

“You’d act the same way if I was.” She quipped.

“Why do you do this to me, Hawke? Why do you evade serious topics like this?” Anders voice was both concerned and disapproving.

“You do the same to me.” Hawke feels anger wash over her. _Not here, not now._ she tells herself. She is oblivious to the fact that her whole body was trembling. Hawke might’ve not been aware of this, but Anders was. He pulled her in for a warm embrace. He felt her melt into him. She was the strong one, she was the one who was trying to leave and help all of Thedas, but here she was, crying into the shoulder of the man whom she ran away with.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Anders whispers to her.

Hawke looks up at him, memorizing every part of his face. She needed to remember him like this, caring, loving, wanting.

“Anders, don’t guilt trip me. I will return. You don’t need me to control yourself as much as you think you do.”

"You give me too much credit my love." He bends over to kiss her. Everyone used to comment on their very obvious height difference, but he always found it cute how she’d have to stand on the tips of her toes to give him a kiss. Sometimes he’d delay helping her reach for something, just because he found her struggle endearing.

Anders gives her a chaste kiss. Hawke retaliated with a passionate one. Hawke’s body started to ache for more. She grabs his hand and leads him to their bed. Hawke’s demeanor changes. She’s no longer the woman crying into his chest, she is now the woman who has pushed him down on their bed while trying to rip his coat off. Her body is overwhelmed with desire as she fumbles to remove his clothing. Anders smiles at her, again watching her suffer some more before intervening. He wraps his arms around her, bringing her in closer. They looked at each other for what felt like an hour; they wanted to remember each other like this, in a moment of great pleasure. Their kissing intensified, Hawke used to say she loved how his kisses would make her cheeks flush. Before either of them knew it they were sitting up in bed, Hawke’s legs wrapped around Anders’s waist. Unbeknownst to Anders, Hawke had succeeded at removing his coat and now was working on the rest of his clothing. Anders grabs her arms and gently pushes her off and turns his back to her.

“No. We mustn’t do this, this will make it harder on us…on me.” Anders is regretting every word that leaves his lips as he says them.

“You’re already making this harder on me.” Hawke responds indignantly.

“Good, maybe then you’ll stay.” Anders says childishly.

“I can’t believe you Anders. Is this how you want to remember it? How you rejected me? You told me yourself that you’re afraid that once I walk out that door that I may never return. Yet you reject me?!” To say that Hawke was enraged, was putting it mildly. Anders had never seen her this angry. He feared she’d set the place on fire. They were on the run and the last thing he needed was unwanted attention.

“Maybe it’s incentive for you to return.” he brooded.

"Anders, you're all the incentive I need." She turned to kiss him.

Hawke regretfully pulls away, losing herself in his eyes momentarily. “Anders, I love you. I have and always will.” She starts to get off the bed when Anders takes a hold of her arm, pulling her back down.

“Promise me. Promise me that you’ll kill that bastard and return to me.” Anders struggled to hold back the tears that were forming.

Hawke’s head drops. Anders knew her, he knew she couldn’t, wouldn’t, make a promise she couldn’t keep. A lump formed in her throat. She wanted to believe that she would return, but she started having her doubts. This was most likely a one way trip.

“Let’s make a deal.” Hawke said. “Every night, we will try to find each other in the Fade. This way, we can still be together in a manner of speaking.”

“Alright.” Anders agrees. “It’s not enough though.”

“It will have to do for now.” Hawke told him.

Hawke succeeds in getting off the bed without wanting to fly back into his arms. She grabs her sack that she placed near the door and takes out a piece of paper. She places it on the bureau of their “borrowed” cabin and starts to walk out.

“Hawke?” Anders calls out.

She turns to look at her lover one more time.

“Don’t die.”

“I can’t make that promise.” she turns back around, walks out the door and closes it behind her. She leans back on the door and cries. It took so much self control to not run back in there and beg for another kiss, another embrace, anything.

Anders walks to the bureau and picks up the letter and starts to read it. Tears spilling on the letter as he reads it.

_Anders,_  
I don’t want to leave. This is hard on me as well. Know that I love you, I've always loved you.  
I can't wait to be back in you arms where I belong. I'll try and have letters sent to you when I can.  
Wait for me Love, because I’ll return to you soon enough.  
H 

“I will wait for you, my love. I promise.” Anders lets the paper fall to the floor.


End file.
